Sunday, January 13, 2008

The struggle within

Here we go......the first days of MBA
first day and quiz......
If I had known all this stuff why would I have been here
Its foolish to give quiz......ill rebel
but i turn around and see 41 fools waiting anxiously for the test paper
What am i doing among fool .... ???...
Introspection ???.....

Quiz results are instant...i end up at the bottom.
oh shit....I thought these were fools
Oh no.....introspection part 2......
Am I dumb...???
...not possible......but probable

Low on self esteem....depression.....pathetic feeling
hey man even the girls got more...introspection part3
Am I even worse than girls ....???
....oh fish.....vaat lag gai....

New lecturer comes to class
What do u want to become in life ??
Deep thinking....searching !!!!
searching.......!!!!
just at the back of my head.....
......searching !!!!
Shit man I dont even know this !!!
Intospection part 4
What do i want to become ....????

At last its the end of the day.....
Still dont know what to do....!!!

introspection ...introspection ....introspection
introspection ........
what have i come here for
MBA or introspection.... ?????
shit man again introspection....
This is the first day and already 5 intospections...

Chalo forget abt introspection
In the words of the immortal Scarlet O Hara
"Ill think of it tomorrow
Tomorrow is another day"

Every rising sun brings new hope......
Ill do introspection with THE new hope .......!!!!

Monday, January 7, 2008

First Lecture in B-School

Marketing – Introductory class

First class of marketing.........Thinking im a manager

“What is marketing??”.......Professor
Shit......what is this.....
Deep thinking.....ultimately nothing comes out.......
Thinking is not the work of mortal being like me J

“Marketing is about......”

After some pathetic answers Prof Like’s one answer
“Marketing is the art of fooling People”....GS(girl)
A girl giving answer....what im doing???.......pathetic feeling L
But happy that N** did not answer.

Back to Professor.
Marketing is passing through a Midlife crisis......
Proff is disappointed.....Bad bad bad.
Marketing is akin to Jungle (looking at ICICI any one will believe - Junglee marketers) Jungle hunter’s work
Segmenting
Targeting
Positioning

Prof tells Sam Walter is dead.....shit...Oh god never knew this.

85% Marketing is waste...
10,000$ is the expenditure per home for advatising in US.
I could have paid my MBA fees.....what a waste of money.
Most of the population gets immune to advertisement.....like me ...he he he

In marketing price is offered as bait and
Promotion is to lure the poooooor customer.

For a successful company ....there should be turnover, profit, wealth creation...etc
Here there are 2 diff aspects
Cause........Brand imaging
Effect.......shares ....wealth for investor.

Wal-Mart is doing well ....but not as good as it did in the times of Sam Walte
Shit he is dead.

Marketing is different for diff companies.......
Like Nike....its associated with sweat, victory, roar of crowd.....sweat .....yaak.

BAD BAD BAD BAD
This is what the professor thinks are bad part of marketing.

But on the other side of the coin there are goods also in it !!!........
Marketing is very much necessary for the growth of the company.
Good Marketing is compared to Gardening.
A Gardener
Sows seed
Feeds the plant
Removes the weeds.......

So pathetic .....weeds eat up plants food....poor plant.
Similarly....a CEO starts a new product...similar to sowing seed, markets the product, removes the hindrance, and predict the future of the product...say 5 years from now.
Marketing will be of no use if the company fails to produce new innovative products.
Example : Sony.....fired their CEO......when Sony failed to get innovative with their products.
The company cannot grow without marketing

Shit yaar......Sam Walter is dead ...Wallmart ki to lag gai.

As the Great Management Guru Peter Drucker said
"Business has only two basic functions-- marketing and innovation."
So for the growth of the comapny it is very important that both these basic functions work seamlessly together. ‘
Drucker also added, “Marketing and innovation produce results: all the rest are costs”.

Philips Kotler four Ps for marketing are:
Product
Pricing
Promotion
Placement

But the problem with the four P’s is that they are not doing very well.....nahiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin
They are good but customer perspective is bad.
4 P’s are failing but........
.........yahooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
We have the 4 A’s...........Dhin-Chak Dhin-Chak Dhin-Chak Dhin-Chak Dhin-Chak Dhin-Chak Dhin-Chak Dhin-Chak.......................ohh................how dumb.
4 A’s are
Acceptiblity
Affordability
Awarenes
A....... oh no forgot

I take a mental note to study this later.
By the way Customer satisfaction is very important in 4 A’s

Nokia invested 1 billion dollars in the gaming mobile with which u can chat....HORIZONTALLY.......what fish.
NOKIA is pathetically idiot.........still its successfull
so nice.....now i think even i can be successfull.

Professor went to a hotel 1 year later and still the company has the database mentioning that he likes extra pillow.....this is marketing at its best.
MUGAMBO KHUSH HUA........HA HA HA HA HA

4 A’s are like the tyres of a 4 wheeler ....all have to be same for a proper ride...
But this is bad example........tractor is an exception.
Professor says,
"to me marketing is at its best when it runs its products like the hybrid engine”

Finally end of lecture..........
Shit man this MBA is tough......

I need to start thinking BEYOND
"To go beyond what u see"..........beyooooooooooooooond